For fans of Kitchen Nightmares, I present to you my genius idea for Gordon's next show! Please note that the following content is NSFW and is adult-themed, so if you aren't an adult please get your parents permission before reading!


Gordon Ramsey's Bedroom Nightmares is coming to a home near you! His well-known catchphrases, however, take on an all new meaning!

It's Raw!
It's cold in the middle!
It's all limp and mushy!
Where's your passion madame?
Outdated, bland, uninspired!
Do you expect me to eat that?
The presentation is just dreadful!
You're going to kill someone with that thing!
What' s that? What IS that??
Look at it, just LOOK at it!
Touch it, touch it right there, see how that feels? Now smell it.
When was the last time you cleaned in there?!