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Mastering Kdice - For V.V.V.
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grandgnu wrote
at 9:56 AM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST
Kdice player V.V.V. has shown appropriate levels of humility and awe when in my presence. As such, I have considered allowing him to apply for apprenticeship to learn from Grandgnu (Master of all things Dices)
Here are the things you must learn to prepare: 1. There is no "I" in Kdice 2. To pwn at dices, one must pwn at all things, including grammar. Typing "your an idiot" only makes you look foolish 3. Sweep the leg 4. Always assume that at least half the players are PGA or multi-accounting and target these skill-less fags for easy growth of your territories. 5. Accuse other players of PGA/Truce/Bad Breath at the earliest opportunity. This allows you to 5v2 them and let others do your light work for you while you build up and let them have 4th later 6. Confucius say, man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok 7. Get him a body bag! 8. Confucius say, man who stick hand in pants feel cocky all day 9. There is no 9 10. Grandgnu is like Chuck Norris, he doesn't get frostbite, he bites frost 11. See #9 When you have mastered these things (and are a set of hot asian triplets eager to dish out bj's at sunup, sundown and midday) you shall be ready to become my apprentice. |
Replies 1 - 10 of 10
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grandgnu wrote
at 10:22 AM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST Other nuggets of wisdom include:
- Players outside the US must be assumed to be PGA, multi-accounting and/or bearing an extreme hatred and ignorant viewpoint towards anyone that is American (especially greeks, turks, chinese and russians) If you are American, you should play this up, letting them know we all wear cowboy hats and big belt buckles, make pistols with our fingers and shoot them in the air while screaming YEE-HAW! and also pour oil on our pancakes. Don't be too hard on those from these barbarian civilizations though. They probably still use an abacus to do math and likely have to stand 3 hours in line for a stale loaf of bread to feed their family of 14 that live in a one-room hovel. So multi-accounting and PGA are the only way they can make a living (kinda like the Korean gold farmers in WOW) |
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V.V.V wrote
at 10:26 AM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST Your will is my guide king of Kings.
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mr Kreuzfeld wrote
at 10:26 AM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST yea, come back when you learn to be funny
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grandgnu wrote
at 10:29 AM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST LESSON THREE - INSULTS
The halmark of a great player is someone who can drop insults with the best of them. Typing "fck u" or "no, YOUR mother" just isn't going to cut it here. Some of my personal faves are: -Stick to minesweeper chumpstains -Stick to Wii Fit you fucking cum guzzlers -Stick to Hello Kitty Island Adventure you fucking cock smokers Pretty much any insult that directs your opponent to: a) play a game that requires less skill b) play a game with a girly-theme c) alludes to their being homo in some fashion (fashion = gay) d) play a game that is completely solo because they have no chance competing against anyone with half a braincell |
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KDICEMOD wrote
at 10:30 AM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST Actually, that was mildly funny MRK........but more than one Karate Kid reference is too much. You shoulda stopped at "sweep the leg" gnu.
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grandgnu wrote
at 10:32 AM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST speaking of the Karate Kid, wtf Hollywood? Remaking it with Will Smiths son and Jackie Chan?
*grabs razor blades and starts slicing* |
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kam|k2 wrote
at 4:02 PM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST well, i guess its his favorite movie, right after home alone.
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Vermont wrote
at 5:28 PM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST At least he did pick the best two lines from that movie.
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kam|k2 wrote
at 6:07 PM, Wednesday December 23, 2009 EST well, there arent more good ones ;>
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grandgnu wrote
at 6:56 AM, Friday December 25, 2009 EST Sigh. I see V.V.V. is still only in 2nd place. Clearly he'll never be worthy of my knowledge bombs
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