1. shit
2. piss
3. fuck
4. cunt
5. cocksucker
6. motherfucker
7. tis äh tits

please don´t ban me

Or in That 70s show words:
You sixing, sevening monkey fiver. You think your one don't stink, well three off you threein' three

Carlin has long been one of my favorite stand-up comics. Here is my meager contribution:

"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

"Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!"

Kdice related:
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

"Fuck the children."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niQ73ZlDxuI

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that.

This is a true story. I went to see Carlin here in Virginia a few years back with a friend. He didn't use any new material, so I knew almost all the jokes throughout his entire show. But about mid-way through, this woman from the front row got up and walked to the foot of the stage to try and give Carlin a t-shirt or something. Carlin ignored her at first, but she wouldn't go back to her seat.

After a couple of minutes he finally stopped the show and asked her to sit back down. She did, but a few minutes later she got up and approached the stage again. At this point Carlin was getting a little pissed and he looked at the woman while still talking into the microphone and said:

"Fuck you, fuck your mother, and I hope your kids die in a car fire!!!!!!"

Now this certainly wasn't the nicest thing to say, but the woman had it coming to her. The whole place fell out laughing for about 5 minutes while the woman and her husband walked out of the theater. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. He was a funny man.

"Fuck the children."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niQ73ZlDxuI

""Fuck you, fuck your mother, and I hope your kids die in a car fire!!!!!!"

Now this certainly wasn't the nicest thing to say, but the woman had it coming to her. The whole place fell out laughing for about 5 minutes while the woman and her husband walked out of the theater"


erm...where's the joke?

oh I gettit.

You're American, and Americans find insults hilarious.